We all know her. She exists within and rears her head far more often than we’d like. She’s our inner critic, the voice that tells us that we cannot do something and why, whether we want to know the reason or not.
She lies dormant as long as we are treading water, neither excelling nor regressing. Complacency seems to suit her. As long as we are not making waves, she is okay with simply chilling.
As soon as we begin to exert any control over our lives. As soon as we consider surrendering to the part of us that knows that there is something more, as soon as we decide that life is no dress rehearsal and that we only get this lifetime to make our mark on this existence– Miss Thing decides to speak up to try and yank us back into reality. You are too this, that or the other, she whispers at first.
Still determined to reach your goal? She realizes this too and begins to speak a little louder. Didn’t you hear me, she whines, you are too this, that or the other. You can’t go back to school, go after that promotion, start your own business.
Still moving forward? She throws the question she knows will stop you in your tracks, at least temporarily. The question that is loaded with every ounce of fear and self-doubt that has ever blocked your growth.
Who do you think you are?
If you don’t know who you are, she can stump you. Not knowing who you are, and more importantly - Whose you are - leaves you vulnerable to her deciding for you. And she is all too ready to tell you.
Listening to her is nothing new. You’ve listened to her before. Listening is not the problem. Believing her is. It’s time to stop her from running your life. Her voice of doom is relentless. She wants your attention and she wants it badly.
The only way to silence her is to listen. Listen to her and respond with what you know is true for you.
Her whispers of you are too this, that or the other should either be met with oh hell no I’m not, or so what, I’m doing it anyway.
If what she whispers to you has any truth to it, accept it lovingly and thank her for sharing. Then decide whether the information can be used to help you along your path. If it can, decide how and put it into action. If it cannot, make a deliberate effort to release it. Inform Miss Thing that her data is faulty and has therefore been dissolved.
Miss Thing means well. She has served a worthy purpose – protecting you from what she thinks may harm you. She has encased you in status quo because to her it equals safety. But safe is boring and never leads to excellence.
The good news about Miss Thing is that she is very trainable. She can become an ally, but you must take control by first examining what she’s saying.
The more you examine the content of what Miss Thing says to you, the more you realize that most of it has its source in fear. The more you hold her comments up to the light, the more you see through them and realize how powerless they are. The more you respond to her inaccuracies about you with your truth, the more you train her to cheer you on instead of derailing your progress, the less powerful she becomes.
Tread very carefully here. When feeling threatened, Miss Thing does not fight fair so she needs to know in the process that you will not abandon her.
She also needs to know that you will no longer allow her to rule you.
The dialogue you have with yourself is one of the most vital sisterhood exchanges you will have in your life. The dreams you deem unworthy, the goals you convince yourself not to pursue, the risks you shy away from are victims, foremost, of the frail voice within disguised as someone who knows. Train her to support you or tell her to shut the hell up!
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